Wednesday, October 17, 2012


I opened an email yesterday from the Arkansas Women Bloggers, urging me to write about my fall traditions as part of an autumn blogging challenge (see link below).

I searched my brain for ideas and came up with a few, but as I continued to peruse the rest of the email's suggestions, I stopped cold at "they are what make you you and what helps to bind your family together."

So this is going to be a little different than most.

Monday, October 15, too many parents across the globe lit a candle for their babies. Some held their babies only for a few months or a few days, some only saw them as blips on an ultrasound screen, and others only had two glorious lines on a pregnancy test.

This day is known as Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and, as you may already know, I am one of those much-too-high statistics. I am the one in four. There's a good chance you may be, too.

Fall is a bittersweet time for me. I love watching my rural corner of the state transform into a cozy, idyllic little spot with fireplaces, falling leaves, and closer families. I also think about the time I was due to deliver my second child on October 10, 2010. Unfortunately I ended up suffering through a miscarriage the March before.

Time helps and I've lived, learned, and grown. Owen was born one year after my miscarriage and our family is stronger than ever. Because my heart has grown, though, does not mean the hole healed. It's just become part of me.

Each fall, I think about this little miracle who taught me so much about life. Whether we live to be 100 or never see beyond our mother's womb, we're all here for a just a blink.

Seeing it go just as quickly as it came gave me a sense of urgency. I am desperate to make every second count. I'm not living perfectly, and there are new struggles each day, but every time I wake up and see the sun, I am thankful. Every time I wake up and see my sons, I am thankful.

So my fall tradition is simple. Around this time of year, my husband and I are reminded to be thankful for the time we're given. We are blessed with the precious gift of life and we have the honor of raising two more.

We also have the honor of knowing a pretty fantastic guardian angel. I hope I get more time to figure out what I'm doing here, but the day I'm done, I pray I'll have an awesome welcoming committee.

Life is too precious and too rare to be wasted. Live yours.

Every day.

This post is part of an Arkansas Women Bloggers challenge called Blogtober Fest. Click to read other fall traditions.


Unknown said...

Thanks for sharing your story. Your words will encourage and uplift those who have suffered losses such as yours. They were encouraging to me and reminded me of the daily gifts I am given. Thanks again.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing. On Oct. 15 I lit a candle for two of my "real life" friends who lost their babies and also for all those I only know in the Bloggy World through the ALI (Adoption-Loss-Infertility) community. I'm glad you used this post to tell your story.

Cathy said...

Love to you. This is the first year I've been aware of an "official" time to remember and heal from loss of a child. We have a grandson who should be 12 now but only lived 3 weeks. Bless you moms who love regardless of the cost.

Unknown said...

Beautiful post. I was due with my first in late August / early September of 2012, and miscarried in January. We are blessed with a little girl born to us in February, but our friends' little girl was born twelve hours before ours and passed away after 14 minutes.

Blessings are mixed with joy and sorrow. Children are a miracle and a blessing never to be taken for granted. Thank you for sharing.

Amanda said...

Thanks for sharing your story and for the reminder to be grateful for what we have been given.

Gina said...

A beautiful post. I am also one of the 1 in 4...miscarrying my 3rd pregnancy just two days after Easter. I understand.

Julie said...

So touching! Thank you for your beautiful words!

Leslie said...

That was a great post. Thank you for sharing.