Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Real


Okay, so if you've been keeping up lately you've noticed a bit of a sappy trend, right?

Turns out those gigantic, swirling hormones don't just go one way, my friends. Although everything I've posted in the past few days is 100% truth (as far as my pregnancy brain can tell), it's time to get real.

Today I am 38 weeks and 5 days pregnant. The next time I see my OB's dapper little grin, I may or may not be writhing in pain as contractions wrack my body without pause and my daughter tries to shove her way out in a method best reserved for TLC shows and National Geographic.

Hopefully "writhing in pain" will be skipped and "numb from the waist down" will take its place, but this time around, I'm preparing for the worst, y'all.

That's next week though. Next week I will give birth and add another screaming mouth to the two that already drive me insane and melt my heart simultaneously. Those four brown eyes work wonders, I tell you.

Today, I'm tired. My body is worn out and seems to be falling apart, every food I eat gives me heartburn and excess saliva, and the ligaments that attach my enormous uterus to some other important muscles are stretched to capacity and could burst at any moment.

And I'm anxious.

And scared.

The same hormones that have me head over heels for a baby girl I haven't met have brought on the last-minute jitters I'd hope are common in pregnant ladies - first child or fifth. I have a big job to do next week (and then the remainder of my life after that, but I'm trying to focus on the whole birth thing first). It's time to try to relax.

Pedicure, check. Nursery, check. Bag is completely packed and infant car seat is ready to go. I have diapers, butt cream, and the teeniest diapers ever. I am ready in every sense of the word, but it's hard to be ready mentally. Not just about a baby bursting through my loins, but the part that comes after.

How do I get myself ready to be a mother of three? There will be more children than parents and before long, one of those parents has to get back to work. How in the world am I going to soothe a screaming baby, prevent Owen from destroying the house, and restart the same episode of Ninja Turtles all at the same time?

If we're being real, it's a pretty terrifying thought, but I can assure you I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't want to. I have no doubt that chaos will rule in a matter of days, but it's my chaos. I created it, I try my best to rule it, and ready or not, I'm jumping in with both feet.

Just so long as I can sneak a nap every now and then. :)

Happy (hectic) Wednesday, y'all!

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