Bauer Boy Babbles

That moment when you realize your six-year-old can pronounce "granola bar" with the greatest of ease and "banilla bars" are a thing of the past? It's heartbreaking, really.

I don't know if I'm just amazed at how a baby I gave birth to can grow to string words together into coherent thoughts, stories, and frequent rambles, but I'm under the impression that my oldest son has always been extremely well-spoken. He's quite a few reading levels ahead and he's already racked up two creative writing awards this school year, so there are at least a couple people out there who agree. However, this first-grader who's been known to adjust adults' grammar and correctly use the subjunctive wasn't always a stickler for the rules. The adorable speech impediments, mispronunciations, and flagrant misuse of the English language were pretty darn adorable a few years ago. So much that I refused to tell him the correct way to pronounce "spaghetti" and was a little sad when he discovered it on his own. Therefore, I must make mental {and digital} notes of Owen's babbles before he, too, goes the way of the educated.

Now that it's written out in black and white, this sounds like a horrible premise for a post, doesn't it? Capture incorrect language before it corrects itself? Whataver, it's cute and I'm the mom. So there. Here's what Owen has been saying {but probably won't be saying for long}:

• Waywee = Blanket
• Nudder Waywee = Another Blanket {he needs anywhere from two-six at bedtime}
• Pick-Ups = Hick-Ups
• Fadetti = Spaghetti
• Felly = Smelly
• Fokey = Smokey {he's got an interesting f-s thing going on}
• June Bug Ride = Dune Buggy
• Poo Pool = Purple {that's a fun one}
• Coffee = Copy {as in "Don't coffee me, Nathan!"}
• Too = Cool {"too truck, dude!'}
• Fickle Me = Despicable Me
• Teety Totters = Tater Tots
• Chicken Fries = French Fries
• Sucka = Sugar {uninformed parties would think he's insulting my grandma's cat}
• Widdy. Widdy. Needit. = Really. Really. Need it.
• Pop Toe = Pop Tart
• I'll be RIGHT back = I'm going to do something wrong.
• Don't TALK-a Me = I've done something wrong.
• Mama, Nathan just HIT me = I just hit Nathan.
• Baby Sisser got a tractor on her head = Baby Sister probably has a tractor on her head, better check.

This is merely a list from the top of my head, so you know I'll be thinking of more as the day goes by. Maybe this post will get a Part Two, and who knows, maybe baby sister will be rattling off ridiculous things by then. Everyone he speaks to doesn't always understand him, so I hope this Owen-English translation will help you in the future. If not, I hope it at least made you grin on this chilly morning. I wish you a smooth and easy start to the week because if you're anything like me, I know you widdy widdy need it.

Happy Monday from me and the boys!