Friday, September 12, 2014

AWBU: No Sippy Cups

My brain was stuffed full of knowledge at Arkansas Women Bloggers University this weekend.

From picking apart amazing stories in my sacred everyday to pinpointing exactly how I want to make you lovely readers feel, I came away inspired to build a better space in my corner of the Internet. However, I talked about that whole experience yesterday. For Round Two of AWBU talk, I want to go a different route. I want to talk to you about this strange species with whom I spent a weekend in northwest Arkansas.


I have little direct contact with non-related grownups, so it was shocking to analyze them in their natural habitats. I learned plenty of blogging tips, but one of the best things about the weekend was that no one needed me to pour their milk. Allow me to present a few lessons learned when a mama is pulled out of her element:

  1. Grownups can get themselves into the car on their own. I can't tell you how many times I fought the urge to pick up Ting's Mom, place her in the back seat, and secure her for the ride. Thankfully for the both of us, I resisted.

  2. I heard my real name said aloud more times than in the last year combined. I'm not sure what would have happened had someone shouted MAMA into this crowd, but we did not have to find out.

  3. Not once did I have to stand in front of the elevator button panel to prevent small fingers from pressing the big red emergency button.

  4. Grownups are not only responsible for bringing their own clothing to a hotel stay, they are fully capable of putting it on by themselves. Forget buttoning up your roomie's shirt, friends, she has this one under control.

  5. There was not a single crayon on the dinner table, no slap fights to break up while waiting to be seated, and I stopped short of scanning the menu for chicken tenders.

  6. Diapers. No one wore diapers.

  7. I didn't have to count to three in my trademark Harsh Voice, and there wasn't a single conference attendee who answered "Huh?" to every single statement I made. It was a refreshing change of pace.

  8. I could have missed it, but I didn't hear anyone replace random parts of speech with the word "booty." This is my season of life, folks. Booty humor.

  9. If a grownup poops in the potty, you probably shouldn't immediately grab their hands for a potty dance. That one needs no explanation.

  10. I pulled a total of zero objects from noses. Grownups seem to know that's a bad idea.

Let me end by saying the phone call on the drive home and the hugs when I walked through the door made even the most soured sippy cup seem okay. AWBU was a wonderful break for this mama, but I'll take what's on the other side of my front door any day. This chaos is mine, and I will own it the best I can. Thanks to the ladies of AWB for an incredible weekend, and thanks to my kids for bringing a little crazy and a load of love into my very special, very sacred everyday.

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Unknown said...

I Love this list! What a fun weekend we had without the little ones running around. But I was also so happy to get home and find out a few little faces had stayed up late waiting for Mommy to get home.

Jennifer said...

Love, love, love! I had an amazing weekend too, but I was really glad to get back and see my family too!

Yavonda -- Lucky Mama said...

This list made me laugh out loud! It was great getting to meet you and other bloggers, but I really did enjoy getting home and hugging my little girl!

Big Pitt Stop said...

Love this. I had no idea our NWA hospitality under served. I'm always game for making you feel more at home. Next time I'm bringing the booty shirts and hissy fits.

Jessica Bauer said...

Thanks for all the love, ladies!! It's a whole different world when you get a break from being mom, isn't it? And Keisha, I will correct your "booty" usage and hold your hand while crossing the street any day! :)

Party of Five said...

Nailed it. I could have written this post, too!

So nice to hang out with you. You must come back sometime.

Brittney said...

Hilarious. I totally should have yelled "hey mom!" just to see who turned around.

Unknown said...

Hilarious! Fantastic recap. :)

Georgeanne @ Eggshells said...

LOL! But how do we KNOOOOOW no one was wearing diapers? ;)

Grace Grits and Gardening said...

haha! No pushing the red emergency button in the elevator. Love it!

~Bekah said...

this is hilarious!! I MUST attend this next time! It seems every time there's a gathering or something I cannot come...

Shelia Little said...

This reminds me so much of when my daughter was little. I was always so happy to return home and see that sweet face. She's 25 now and I still love seeing her sweet face.