Sunday, December 28, 2014

Some Assembly Required


You know that place between holiday cheer and a packed-up Christmas tree?

That grey area when your trashcan is stuffed with wrapping paper, the decorations are askew on the mantle, and you fear your home will never be clean? Your toy boxes are stuffed full, but so many additions still lie where Santa left them. Tupperware containers line your fridge and the icing on your Christmas cookies has hardened to a crisp. You know the place, don't you? I am 100% there and while I'm well aware that the spirit of Christmas is in more than crammed closets, there is no denying I'm a bit loopy.

Therefore, I have written an ode to Post-Christmas Syndrome. The joy and the spirit of Christmas Day are enough to make this mama turn a blind eye to the mess, but when the sun rises on December 26, this is what I see:

Twelve bags of trash
Eleven safety twist ties
Ten cardboard boxes
Nine-page instructions
Eight piles of laundry
Seven loud noise-makers
Six missing batteries
FIVE bro-ken pieces
Four skipped naps
Three happy children
Two white wine bottles
AND A LIVING ROOM COVERED IN TOYS!

Ahem, go ahead and enter my name on the write-in ballot for any holiday songwriting competition. Obviously this ditty is sung tongue-in-cheek, and my family appreciates all gifts received, but "write what you know" is at hand. Most of you are probably laughing at me, but you can't deny the feeling. Here's to rearranging closets, moving your furniture, and vacuuming toy debris and candy wrappers. The spirit of Christmas will live on in my heart, but the clutter of Christmas is going back into storage.

Happy Sunday, y'all!


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